Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

Wow, I haven't been here to update since August 25th!

It's not that I haven't been busy. Quite the contrary! We've been so busy, it sure seems like time just flies by. It does make me sad - I don't like time to go by so quickly. Just the other day, I was talking to Joey, and we realized that in six months, he'll be graduating from high school. Actually, six months from December 25th. June 25th is graduation day, and these next six months are going to just fly by.

Jennifer will be graduating in May with her associates, too. They are moving along, growing up. Thankfully, John still has two years to go before he graduates, but, that time will go by in a flash, too.

So, tomorrow is Christmas.
It doesn't feel like it.
The holiday cheer is just not there this year.
Yes, there is snow on the ground, thanks to the blizzard we had last weekend.
The Christmas tree is up, the presents are wrapped. Jen is baking cookies with Joey. John is playing WoW (sigh).

But, there is something missing. This is the first Christmas without my father, and the third without my mother. I know I wouldn't have seen my father for Christmas, but, I'd have talked to him on the phone. It was the first time to not buy him a Christmas card...or a present. I have an emptiness in me, that is not like any I've ever known.

Instead, I really have to focus on my children, and our life. So, with that, I'm off to ice and decorate the sugar cookies Jennifer just baked.

Merry Christmas everyone!
XOXO

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Prima goodness!!

Head on over to the Prima blog at http://prima.typepad.com/prima/ and take a peek at all the beautiful goodness that is there.

I love Prima products, especially the flowers. I can't ever get enough of them! I seriously drool on my keyboard when I look at all the new items they introduce. The layouts on the blog are just gorgeous!! Go take a look! You won't regret it!

I have been anxiously awaiting my first design team assignment from Scrapper's Playground.
Scrappin' again has been slow, but, I'm working on it. It's been really difficult to make time for myself lately. Not that I don't want to. I've just been trying to adjust to life without my father in it.

Last week I started taking an anti-depressant. Hoping I'd start to feel more like my old self. While I did start to feel more cheerful, the side effects drove me bonkers. Insomnia, and nausea were the worst. I can handle a lack of appetite - *wink* but, not sleeping, that I can't handle! Not sleeping was seriously affecting my mental state. So, I stopped taking the anti-depressant, and within two days, I was back to sleeping, and after 4 days off of it, I'm back to sleeping 8 hours at night. Whew!! No more of that for me. I'm going to just keep focusing on the good stuff. Reminding myself that my father would want me to be happy, and cheerful. He wouldn't want me to be so sad, and down all the time. Plus, once the boys are back to school September 8th, I'll have a regular routine, and structured day. That, in itself, will make me a much happier person.

That's all for now.
Love and hugs.
xoxo

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Seriously, this kitten will sleep anywhere, in any position!









Have you ever seen anything so precious before? I love my little baby.

Surprise! (Sometimes good things do happen, even if the days bring a lot of tears, and sadness)

These last weeks have been so difficult. I alternate between just making it through each day without tears, to days filled with tears. This past Saturday night was terrible. I was washing some things by hand in the sink that are too big for the dishwasher, and I just broke down sobbing. I was crying so hard, I felt physically ill. Ugh, just so awful. I think I scared Joey a bit, but, he hugged me. Then, I calmed down.

I've never felt so lost. I lost the one man in the world who loved me, for me. I'll never have that again. I'll never have someone there, a male someone, who just accepts me for who I am. There have been men who said they loved me, for me, but in the end, when all was said and done, they wanted me to change something....

Anyway, enough of that for this post....now, on to the surprise part.

I took a drive over to Scrapper's Playground today. I wanted to see what was new - because there is always something new coming in! I bought some paper, and then chatted with Dee for a while. I love her, she's so sweet, and kind. It's wonderful to talk to her. All the time. When I was there, Sue, the owner, told me that she would like me to be on the design team for the store, and was I interested?!

Am I interested?! You bet!

I'm so excited, and surprised, too!

Yay!

And, I got a Cricut Expression on Monday! I've been loving all the fun things it can do. It's amazing how many more options there are on this machine. Now, I just have to get myself organized, and scrap.

Organized....ha.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

13 weeks old!


Here's our kitty.

The kids have been calling him Optimus.

I just call him Baby. He comes to me *all* the time!


Monday, July 13, 2009

Loss

My father passed away on July 6th.

I've talked so much, to so many people about what happened, I just can't bare to tell it all over again here.

He was just too weak to go on, and he wanted to be with my mother again.

I am so glad I was able to get a flight down on Sunday night, the 5th. I was able to see him on Monday morning, and talk to him, and then later in the day, I was there as he drifted away. It crushed my heart to see it happen. But, I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

I am worn out, exhausted, and my eyes burn from all of tears I've cried this week.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Aaden, rescue kitty - six weeks old!

It's official, the kitty is a boy! Yesterday was his first vet visit, and the doctor confirmed that fact for us!

He's doing so well, eating wet food, and still loving his cuddle with a bottle feeding. He's a little terror, though. He's a biter - because he wasn't 'taught' how to behave by mama. We have to work at that little bad habit, because it can get pretty bad if something isn't done about it. Hopefully he'll just grow out of that nasty habit, we'll see!

Here he is!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I'm home

I will update..need to update.

Not tonight, though. I'm tired, it was a tiring week.

Seeing my father was wonderful, but it broke my heart to have to say good-bye, and come home. Thank goodness he's in good hands with my brother and sister-in-law.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Fly, fly away...

I'm heading down to Florida tonight. Alone, no kids, all by myself! How did this happen?

Well....it was just the best Mother's Day gift of all!

Steve arranged the whole trip for me to go down and visit my father. He talked to my boss to make sure the dates were okay, then, he called my brother to make sure he could pick me up at the airport, finally, he booked the flights, and took a week off from work to oversee the household.

I just can't wait to see my father, and my brother and sister-in-law!! I love them so much, and it's been too long since seeing them.

On the downside, packing is for the birds....ugh, it's only a week, but, having to plan what I might want to wear? That is the worst. Plus, I'm bringing a bunch of scrapbooking stuff to work on a project while there. Dad naps, and rests - so I figured I'd bring something to do while he's sleeping.

Anyway - lot's to do today! Going with Jen to pick up her official transcript with spring semester grades. Then, we need to drop that off at Stonybrook University, where she's applied as a transfer student. Then, some grocery shopping, all before picking the boys up at 2pm from school.

All this before my flight this evening. Yay!
Take care!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Too cute!

So - on Mother's Day - we rescued two, two day old kittens.

The two sisters were born on a Friday, in my neighbors backyard. We've had a stray cat hanging around, have been feeding her since fall, and she ended up pregnant..... anyway, the mama abandoned them when she couldn't get back to them the day after they were born. The neighbors were having a big party in their yard, and the mama was afraid to go over to take care of them, unfortunately.

On Mother's day, the neighbor came over and told me that one of the kittens was crawling in the grass, so I went over to get her, and found the sister on the other side of the fence, between the fence, and shed. I brought them home, attempted to get the mother to accept them for several hours, but, she refused. :( So sad. I had to do something, so I went to the pet supply store and bought animal nursing bottles, and kitten milk replacement. And, so it began, working at trying to save these little girls.

Sadly, the next morning, one of the kittens died. I held her as she took her last breath, and sobbed my eyes out when she passed. It just broke my heart that I couldn't save her. But, her sister is another story!!

Today, she is three weeks old. Her eyes are wide open, her ears are open - she's a wiggly, squirmy, cuddly ball of fur!! It's been so much hard work - feedings in the middle of the night, helping her to potty since she can't control that yet on her own. I've been peed on, and pooped on *yuck* !!!! But, oh my, we're all in love!!!

When I hold her, and talk to her, she just sits and stares at me, listening, and she'll talk back with her little meows, and reaches for me with her little tiny paws. She's just too sweet.

Three pictures:

first is from the day we found both.
next is from two weeks ago, huge yawn, so sweet.
last picture is from today - looking right at the camera.






Monday, May 4, 2009

Unexpected break

Deer Park schools are closed for the week.

There are three probable cases of Swine Flu (H1N1) at one school in the district. It was recommended that the ONE school be closed for a week, but, the district decided to take extra precautions and shut down all six schools. I understand the fear. I understand the concern.

I am, though, wondering what will be done to ensure that that lesson plans will be fulfilled for high school students taking the NYS Regents exams in June. Also a question - will school be extended for a week into July?

At least my boys are fine - and my daughter is away from this (so far) at college.

But - this week also gives us some down time. Time to rest up, and recharge our internal battery, so to speak. I do have a busy week of work - Mother's Day is the 10th, that means there will be a lot of cards sold, and a lot of cards to keep neat and somewhat orderly. Then, a busy week next week with the Father's Day setup, and credits. It just feels like the months roll by so quickly. Before I know it, it will be August and Halloween cards will be in stock. :)

I've been scrappin' so much lately. I have a lot of layouts to photograph and put up here. Perhaps later today.

Anyway - time to get ready for work.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

So...

Again, it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. For a while I just wasn't in the mood, honestly. But - as you can see below, I've finally added some layouts here, and will be adding more as time allows.

I'm very lucky...I have a pile of black and white baby pictures of myself. My father took all the pictures, he developed most of them, too. There are some color pictures, too. I'm really excited to scrap these pictures - they'll all be in their original format, no cropping of the photos or trimming away the white border. Someday I need to go through the stack of negatives I have, too. I'm sure I'll find more beauties in there to scrap.

See ya soon!

Sweet Life

Me, at 3 years old, taken outside the apartment building in Flushing, Queens, where we lived at that time. My mother made the hat, and knitted the sweater. My father took, and developed the pictures. I smiled for the camera, explored, and enjoyed the little box of Good n'Plenty.

Basic Grey Dark Chocolate letters, Bazzill cardstock, Prima say it with crystals spray, BoBunny cardstock for base, silk flowers from Michaels.

<3

Sweet Baby


Me, again. February, 1966 - just a few weeks old. So sweet - hard to believe I was little like that. :)

Graphic 45 paper, Bazzill cardstock, Prima flowers, Marcella by K embellies, Thickers pink script letters, silk spray from Michaels.



Mom and Me


Just a simple layout of mom and me. Taken February 1967. Graphic 45 Baby to Bride paper, acetate overlay from a pack I had, Prima flowers, Thickers letters, and flower spray cut out on the Cricut, again from the Storybook cartridge. (I'll be using that a lot!)

Sweet Baby


This is a layout of me, in the hospital isolette. :) Taken the day I was born - January, 1966, 43 years ago. My father took the picture, and later developed it. I'm so lucky to have this picture, and many others I'll be scrapping in the near future.

Graphic 45 patterned paper - Baby to Bride line, Bazzill cardstock, Prima flowers, and other silk flowers from Michaels. I also used the "A wish came true" phrase from the Storybook cartridge on the Cricut. <3

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Snow day!!

Yay! The school district has already declared Monday as a snow day! I don't think that's ever happened before - a decision made the night before - even before there is more than a dusting on the ground.

But - we are supposed to have 6-10 inches of snow, and I'm soooo glad tomorrow will be a day off. Jen will have to check if the college has classes in the morning, but, if it's bad in the morning - she isn't going.

In all honesty, I'm kind of sick of snow this year. With all the snowy weather we've had, I've been forced to drive in snow on numerous occasions. If you know me, then you know it's not something I enjoy at all. But - with my job, I need to travel around the area. I had six accounts up until two weeks ago - so I had alot of work to do. I'd leave the house in the morning, and it would start snowing while I was working, and then, I'd have to drive home in it. Fifteen minute drives became 45 minute drives. :( Not fun!!

Gladly - I only have four accounts now. I'm glad to be able to slow down, and only work 2 or 3 days a week again.

Anyway - I'm off for the night. I'm feeling creative, I think I'll go scrapbook!
Have a wonderful night. <3

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Another month flies by.

Time goes by too quickly these days. Can you believe it's almost March?

It's been busy as usual. Work, family, life. I am not sure how we manage to fit so much into each day. But, somehow it all works out.

Mid-winter break was last week. The boys were off from school for the week. It was nice to sleep in each day. We looked at the calendar, and realized that since school started in September, there hasn't been a single FULL month of school. March will be the first month of the school year with no days off, aside from weekends. Or - if there are any snow days. I wonder how we'll manage it. *laugh*

I've been scrapbooking a lot! I actually am almost done scrapping one trip - that means I have 6 more to scrap. I think...maybe it's 7. All I know is, I have way too many Disney pictures. :)

We've been playing WoW, still. I actually respecced my druid to boomkin - from feral. I was getting bored, and a little disappointed in raids. So far, I'm really loving the boomkin spec.

More another time - dinner is done!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

"..so.."

It's been so long since blogging - I used to do this daily, and now, I don't make much time for it. So, let's see...what's been going on around here.

December was a blur -

....on December 5th, I went to the city with my girlfriends. We saw the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, walked around Bryant Park shopping at some of the vendors that were there for the holiday. We had lunch at Tony di Napoli - omg..the food was .amazing. They serve family style - so you can order a platter of this, and a platter of that, and be happy. Seriously, the. best. Italian. food ever. I can't wait to go back again! But, be warned it says a platter serves 2-3. There were 7 of us, so we ordered 3 different dishes, and we still had lot's of leftovers!!

After lunch, we went to Macy's to see Santa, and then shopped. So much fun!! We then walked back up to Rockefeller Center around 6pm to see the tree. Then, we decided to head on back to Penn Station to catch the LIRR home - and hoped to find a place for tea/coffee, dessert on the walk back. First of all, it was freezing, windy, and we were *tired*. We tried a few places, and there were no tables or chairs - just buy what you want, and leave. Eventually, we found a little coffee shop 2 blocks down from Penn - we sat, and warmed up. Had something warm to drink and some pie. Then, finally got the train back home at 8:30pm. A very long day. But, it was great being with my girlfriends!!

I woke up Saturday the 6th not feeling well. Sore throat, stuffy, achey, tired. We ran errands, did things that needed to be done. Rested the rest of the day, and woke up Sunday even worse. :( By Monday I had a terrible cough, and fever. So, I went to the doctor, and was diagnosed with a severe case of bronchitis/borderline pneumonia. Had an x-ray 2 days later and had walking pneumonia. So, for two weeks I was home, no work, no fun, no shopping, or anything.

Do you know how much fun that is right before Christmas?

I have to say, Steve and the kids stepped up and did *everything* that needed to be done for the holiday. He was on vacation, and took them out shopping, every day after school, for presents, or groceries, or just to be out. They cleaned, and helped get everything ready for Christmas. By the week of the holiday was feeling much better, thankfully, so we all enjoyed it.

The best part? No one else got sick!!

So, that, my friends, is why December was a blur. I slept through most of it. *giggle*

Unfortunately, the new year hasn't been all cheerful. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer at the start of the month. His doctor is optimistic that there is a 75%-95% chance they can get it into remission.

The type of cancer he has is not as aggressive as the lung cancer my mother had, and passed away from 3 years ago, February 22nd. His cancer is slow growing - Stage 3A, non-small cell adenocarcinoma.

My mother had Stage 3B- large cell undifferentiated carcinoma, which is a fast growing/spreading cancer.

So - we are just going to see what happens. He has already started chemo, and radiation. Plus, he is getting biological therapy with Avastin. This is amazing - it affects the blood vessels that feed the tumor causing them to shrink and die, thus compromising the tumor cutting off it's nutrition. This makes it easier for the chemo to work more effectively on the cancer cells. That's just the short description. But, it's been working very well on patients with colon cancer, and breast cancer. So, now, they are using it on patiends with certain types of lung cancer. We are hopeful, and optimistic this will work.

My father is amazing - he's got such an upbeat attitude about it. He's worried, of course. But, he is putting his trust, and faith in the team that is treating him.

I find myself mentally numb sometimes - I wonder if I can handle this again. But - I have to push that away because I have to handle it, for my father, and my family.

I guess that's enough for now - I wish I had something cheerful to post about. Maybe next time.